Processing my feelings

 

Helo!

I kinda feel idk, wanting to end my life and all that.

But, still struggling to survive.

So, anyway, remember the guy that I wrote before, the one who kinda came into my life and make it a lil bearable after my break-ups. I don't know if I have feelings for him, like having feelings. But, the moment he told me that he has someone else, made me somehow sad? And, I swore my world was on paused when he told me that. HAHAHA. I am not being dramatic, just that my heart aches.....however, I didn't know why I felt that way? It's not that I like him or something. My sister said, I probably kindaaaaaaaaaaaa like him. There's probably teenyy tinyy bit of feelings bcs we are so comfortable and have a lots in common.

I really don't know, man. I don't even know how it feels to genuinely like someone. I like being around him because I don't have to pretend. I am me. And, he never invalidates my emotion, what I feel and all that. Wow, he reminds me of Muqri. 

I still don't know what's my feelings for him. So, ya. I don't want to process it, yet. I am tired.

Tired of feeling everything and nothing at the same time........