Insecurity kills.
In my previous entry, I said that I'll share about how to be confident lol.
So, nowadays most of my friends see me as one confident girl.and I've always seen as someone who's always super duper happy. Little do they know, back then in school days I WAS ONE OF THAT PERSON WITH INSECURITIES. lol.
I was insecure about my appearance lol. I never feel I am good enough and pretty enough compared to my friends who are lawa nak mampos? I was born with kind of dark skin. Ever since I was born, people always compare me to my mother who has fair skin. Like "gelapnya anak kau" kind of think. AND TRUST ME, I WAS A FREAKING 5 YEARS OLD GIRL AND I REMEMBERED LOL. Never compared us, the kids. Everytime people said that I was super emotional kahkah and kept on saying I WAS NOT DARK. I AM "coklat" (which I am coklat skin ok?"
That taller girl was me. COKLAT OK~ Hahaha. So I kept on repeating that and it annoyed me when people ALWAYS SAID THAT. I macam eeeee dah ikut kulit ayah nak buat camne. Boleh murung seminggu tau bila orang tegur I ni gelap?!
Besides my skin, I was always insecure about having thick lips and kinda wide mouth. Oh my lips are not as red as most girls who has fair skin too! Like most people around me are all small lips and red lips. No one ever tegur me for that, but been surrounded by them, make me feel insecure. I want to be like them. Like the girl, boys will look at gitu (dulu la? HAHAHA tahpape)
I was insecure when I gained weight and my friends were all skinny. I was insecure when people called me fat back then. When people said, I look bad. I was insecure about everything regarding my appearance because people around me did and they compared. My insecurities were there until I was 17, maybe. Honestly, I do not remember when is the last time I feel insecure. HAHAHA sebab dah lama tak rasa insecure teruk sekarang. Dulu nak bercakap pun I takut kot? Sebab I rasa cam semua orang pandang I...I dah la buruk gila (dulu la hahaha, sekarang bercakap tak nak stop!)
So, how did I overcome my insecurity?
- I learned to be grateful for whatever I have. I don't compare my life with others.
- I start to love myself more than I ever did. I stop comparing myself with the beautiful girls in socmed. I did not envy them or want to be like them.
- I think positive and get rid of the negative vibes. Because it will affect you!
- I surround myself with friends who loves me for real.
- I apply the "lantak kau lah nak cakap apa" kind of prinsip. I tak kisah apa orang cakap pasal I bila I jadi the best version of me. I kurang ambil tahu what people think of me?
The important part of overcoming your insecurity is loving you as much as you could! Being confident doesn't mean you can't improve yourself. I mean, if you are fat, you can do exercises. It may take a while for you to lose your weight, but I swear it will not make you stressed out and take illegal pills if you are confident with yourself! Don't do anything for the sake of others, do it for you!
If you suffered severe acne, take your time to cure it! Despite of people calling you buruk ke apa, take your time. Don't use illegal skin product because you tak sabar nak cepat flawless. Everything needs time. Leklek je ok? Pedulikan apa orang cakap. Biar progress lambat tapi berbaloi dan you tak stress!
Even to be confident takes time! So, take your time. One step at a time. Ok. Remember that nothing holds you more than your own insecurities! Get rid of the insecurities! Be confident, be happy and be you! :)
Ps: I now feel grateful for having thick lips sebab pakai lipstick penuh kot. cantik kahkah. Ok bye.
pps: this are few links for you to read!
Loves,
Shasha
