no one ever knows -- or care

Life is never easy for everyone.

I wish everything is easy like it used to be.
Anyway, I have not posted anything since last March. 
So currently, I am not in my right mind.
Lol there's time I wonder if I should go meet a psychiatrist or something?
A lot of things happened and there are things that I could not share it with anyone because it is too personal.
People around me are all busy and they rarely could spend some time for me :')
I mean the people I want to talk to are busy.
So here I am, crying alone and cry some more and cry and fuck can I stop crying?
Guess I have been holding up tears for quite sometimes that I couldn't hold it anymore.
I badly want to go for a check-up to know if I am actually depressed???? or this is just a regular mood swing? Which I hope it is. But who knows.
I never want to tell this to my parents bcs I don't want to bother them with what I feel. 
It is my thing since i was a kid.
Lol I am praying that I will get better no matter how difficult things will be :(