taking my own time.
Hi.
I feel like blogging, saja.
So, I started to read Malay love novels, again.
I think because I was bored and I couldn't go all lepak and jalan. Funny how reading Malay love novels now give me different point of view on the plot and everything.
I guess that our point of view change over time. Sometimes, it changed because you somehow went through the situation, you never thought you would. Or because your environment changed as you getting old, so your view on life changed.
Back then, when reading love novels, I would focus on you know how the handsome and rich the character is. Now, none of that matter anymore hahah. Some of my friends told me that the reason why I don't find anyone to date because I am hoping for someone like the novel's character. And I been feeding myself with lovey dovey stuff from the novel so, I don't even bother to seek for one. HAHAHA.
And that isn't right ok ahaha. As much as it seems easy for everyone else to like or start dating someone, things are just hard for me. So, let's stop asking me when will I get married or things like that.
Of course we would want someone to call 'home', to feel like we belong to them, to turn to when we are sad or in trouble. But, for me, to open up and accept just anyone are something that bothers me a lot.
Maybe because of my past or it's just me, or probably because I have seen what people around me been through when they are in a relationship. and not everything is sweet. I need time to heal myself and I don't wanna be insecure about having others leaving me, eventually.
From those love novels, I found that we should be ready before starting a relationship and howwwwwwwwwww relationship is about sharing and tolerating each other. And how communication is damn important. Hahah I guess, I am not emotionally capable of handling those feelings. The happy and fun part is okay, but to go through another heartbreak -- I can't.
I hope my parents will understand this -- And never ask me about having someone special lol. Because maleh aqqqq.
xx, shasha
