I wish no one ever....leave.

This is just a random post.

lately, i am not in a good mood, but I am not in a good mood either....

i am just....heartless or feel-less. i dunno.

I was thinking, why don't everyone just stays in my life, and don't even leave me, for whatever reasons, either it's distance or death or wtv. sometimes I wish for having my life, school life....not that I have everyone but, it is somehow like it. I sort of have them, since we r in the same class.

ok, i start mengarut. but the point is, i want everyone back....

it is impossible tho... but well manusia tak pernah bersyukur (eh tetiba je)

sometimes, I wonder, if I ever have friends that can be classified as someone who knows me better than I am....but then, still I know myself better than everyone else. HAHAHAHAHA. eventho, sometimes I feel a bit lonely because I don't have "clique" or wtv, but still I enjoy being alone. even if sometimes i envy those who has bunch of friends to lepak with etc, but i still choose to walk alone and i dont want to depend on others.

it is really hard for me to ask for a help from anyone... very.

i don't even ask for it, unless i need it, like really need it.

even to ask for ears to listen is hard

i dont go tell others, what i feel, or what i think....

i....keep it...to myself.

i dont know. life is hard. lol.

you know the feeling of "need someone" but dont want to burden them?

thats how i feel. anyway, writing make me feel better, more than human does.

cats too. and sleeping.

i guess, i am the definition of running away from my feeling. perhaps everything.

am i?

my ig's feed is full of my old friends (school friends) they are happy. oh and we don't really talk to each other now. i guess people do change. someone who i used to talk with everyday, shares our diary's feed, a sister, a girl friend and her beautiful poems, i am proud of her now. she used to be very dramatic (and still am), she used to feel depress because she once got picked in the class for speaking in english, for not wearing tudung, for every gedik-ness she had once, but now, she's stronger than ever :) i am not sure if, she ever remember those moments she had with me or wtv shits we shared, but still if u know this is you, keep on being yourself! you are always beautiful even when you are crying, with hingus and hembus it, you are always beautiful ;* and i love u even we are not talking, like really talk abt hows life and meet each other.

oh i guess i miss the memories i shared. theres a guy, whom i miss a lot. not a boyfriend of course since i have none (And don't even want to have one, yet) I miss him and we are not talking...since last year, i guess. or is it last two years. i am not sure. but since I know he got a girlfriend, or before that? or is it him who starts to not talking, i don't know. things i know now is, if your guy friends start to be in a relationship, well friendship is nothing. or it is nothing since he used to "like" me in the past. but seriously we are not talking HAHAHAHAHA. i don't even have his number, now. thats bcs i reformat my phone...and i don't have the "niat" to ask for it. I guess people r forgetting me. so i need to move my ass off their life as well, no matter if i miss you, things are not the same.....

even if you were once my best friend. hahahaha. even if i remember all the broken promises you made, we r not going to be like how we used to be....so, lets cherish the memories!

i miss a lot of people. like really.

i am holding on memories, i barely let it go.

i miss everything i used to have,

but life is about moving on,

and i must walk away,

from my memory lane,

it is okay to be in that mode,

once a while,

at least, i remember

who once be in my life,

for now, before

i start to forget

them forever.
or maybe not.
forgetting is not easy as moving on.

anyway, for everyone who once be a part of my life and leave, thank you for giving more spaces for others to come :) no matter how many people come and go, i'll remember everyone and each of you! muah xoxoxo