pick up the broken pieces
(notes: this post was posted when I was in my emotionally unstable phase. thanks!)
I am back! Anyway, I currently in my fifth semester. 2 semesters to go before graduating (insyaAllah!) I am here becauseeeeeeeeeeee I kinda feel demotivated lol.
I don't know why. I am so tired of everything. It's only week 5 weh, I dah penat hadap benda.
I would say I am not this weak. But, I sumpah macam tak motivate langsung HAHAHAHA. Mungkin kena hadap Tuhan lebih ni. Hati tak cukup makanan rohani?
I tahu tak boleh putus asa, I am not. It just I need some rest lah kot. Ke I penat hadap manusia, nak duduk dalam hutan. Tahu kan the feeling when YOU FEEL TIRED OF EVERYTHING AND WANT TO QUIT EVERYTHING YOU DAH BUAT. Ha I rasa macam tu. Macam why the heck I buat benda ni, takde hasil. Lol (Or that's what I feel lah at least). Don't worry this usually only lasts for few days. I am usually strong enough to pick up my broken pieces. And strong enough to pass through this!
I taip ni ikut apa yang ada dalam otak I tanpa susun atur isi, ini bukan expository writing.
If you wonder I ada masalah ke, I takda masalah pun, I just rasa macam ni je lol. Like constantly missing my loved ones ha pastu meroyan sesorang feeling like I have no one to mengadu nasib (don't cakap mengadu kat Allah please, don't be that Islamic here -- of course I doa kat Dia jugak). It just I penaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat jeeeeeeeeeeee hahaha penat ada perasaan.
I secretly hoping we can "switch off" our feeling ke apa hahahah things would be easier. And if we could "un-care" the person we used to care pun bagus juga? Ha, bila you emosi, you tend to tertengok your buku lama yang lama dah ditutup dan tak disentuh kan... same goes to me! (maka dengan itu I macam ketuk diri sendiri juga sebab WHY?) anyway, I terbuka la benda yang mengingatkan I to someone yang I sendiri put a fullstop to us. (bukan boyfriend -- in case my family read this) We completely strangers now. Lol I asked for it, for some reasons. I masih care tapi kerana reason itu, I pretend like I didn't. Dia obviously happy now, I ja teringat kadang-kadang. Funny how, dia used to say I was the one who helped dia pass through the gloomy days, tapi dia jugak la yang tak kisah pasal I sekarang HAHAHAHAAHHA.
There's time when I feel like I am holding on to my past and people I used to love. I kinda don't want to let them go. They aren't in my life, it just me yang teringat. I didn't hoping for ada mereka balik pun. Just teringat, you get me? Hahahaah ya ALLAH emonya post ini. Tapi saya masih mahu tulis!
I just want to say, FEELING IS COMPLICATED NAK MAMPOS????????? Tapi I suka berperasaan tapi complicated ni kenapa! ok la itu je. I would ranting banyak lagi tapi, nanti terbongkar la pasal I! Hahahaahah ok. I dah okay :* Muah ciked.
