Moving On and Let it Go - part 2

Hi! So, how are you doing with the breakups?

Now that we have cried our eyes out and in the phase where everything reminds us of that someone.

Literally everything.

And we are in the phase of trying to not text them; it's hard because we are so used with their presence. 

Sometimes, we will end up texting to especially when we are darn excited or sad.

But, I want you to know that it's okay to sometimes end up doing that.

Because letting go is not easy. And we sometimes forgot that they are no longer ours.

However, every time you crawling back to them, remind yourself that they are no longer yours.

and you need to accept the fact. You have to make peace with your past for you to able to move forward. You need to accept the fact that things happened, and no matter what you are trying to do, it's irreversible. Plus, not everything deserves a second chance.

So, basically, when you are dealing with heartbreaks, what you need to do is acceptance. 

We need to 'terima kenyataan' only then we can proceed to next steps!

Next, well some people will think of whats good when you are single and why being in a relationship can be draining. But, I never done this because for me, if the guy was good when he was in the relationship with me then why would I think of it that way. Instead, I will be comparing how our view in life -- idk about others but, for me being with someone who has the same view in life with you is a bless. Also, I would re-evaluate my partner attitude, if I can tolerate with him if I end up with him.

And re-evaluate myself, will my partner be able to tolerate me. Can we tolerate each other.

Sometimes, in a relationship, there will be things that you 'pejamkan mata' because you love them, maybe once you guys are no longer together, you will see the reasons why you two didn't work out.

Third, TRY TO AVOID THE PERSON.

I know we wanna break up in a good way -- still be friends and all that.

But, not everyone can stay that way.

So, my advice is to block them from your life and social media!

If you keep on 'ambil tahu', it will be difficult for you to move on. Once you are completely okay, you can always follow balik okay?

Ohhhh, find yourself a distraction.

New hobby, activity, or maybe learn something new. Find anything that is interesting for you. So, you can spend time doing it instead of strolling down the memory lane in your room. Find new focus in your life. If you never read books, try reading book. Do whatever that sparks joy, EXCEPT GOING BACK TO YOUR EX. Okay lah, some people would go shopping and everything, if shopping is safe for your bank account, then go! >_<

Next, spend your time with your family and friends! Maybe back then you been spending your time with your partner and just them. So, now you have all your time for yourself, your family and your friends! Oh maybe you can adopt a pet too! Do lepak and catching up session or go wherever you wanna go together. Explore your city with them. 

I know it is hard to move on without looking back, without missing the memories you once shared with that person. And, that's okay too. Its okay to suddenly feeling sad because you miss that person. You have spent years with them. Take all the time in this world to heal. We cope differently after a breakup.

Cry if you still feel like crying. It's okay. Really.

Anyway, don't forget to forgive the person and also to forgive yourself!

If your breakup isn't the 'good' breakup, you need to forgive yourself and that person.

You can't move on if your heart full of hatred. You will eventually adapt living without that person, but the hate you have for them, stays. And hidup dalam membenci ni adalah benda yang paling penat sekali. Sebab you akan marah bila you tengok dia bahagia. Kenapa pulak you nak penatkan hidup you mempunyai perasaan begitu. You deserve to be happy, you deserve to live your life to the fullest.

Forgive them and yourself. It's not anyone's fault. They came in your life for reasons. Though you may not see it now. You will see it, sooner :)

In conclusion, we all have different ways to heal. And healing takes time.

It doesn't matter how much time you take to heal as long as you are trying to be happy along the way.

Ohhhhh! I forget to mention TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN EVER <3 Breakup doesn't mean that you are useless or not good enough okay. It is never your fault (unless you are that abusive, toxic and mean partner, then it is your fault -- and good enough for them to let you go!) 

Remember, self-love also helps to heal your brokenhearted! I am wishing the very best for your healing journey and you can do this! No matter how long it takes to completely get over someone, you will <3

Loves, shasha